Gay, Gay, Great
Oh my fucking goodness. I am over my drug addiction, okay? I am so done trying to deal with people who are fucked up on drugs... I'm shaking. I am so pissed. I do not want to worry about the people I care about most being fucked up on shit that is not necessary. I wish I would've learned how fucked up all that shit is, without having to go through it myself. But like I've said before, I only learn by falling face first into a huge pile of elephant shit, to step around it next time. Why can't you (or I) just know that something is wrong, and something is harmful, and that this thing can RUIN YOUR LIFE. (and the lives of those who care about you.) Are we wondering what she's talking about yet?
My "best" friend, who I have known since I was eight, has been snorting oxycoten (sp?) for two years. Yeah, it sucks, and yeah, I wish there was something I could say that would make her stop. Now I know how everyone felt when I was fucked up on tweek. That's only the beginning of it, though. My good buddy just informed me that he saw one of her old, good friends, and she told him that she is doing that shit at her place of work, at a public school, where she is in charge of a whole class of small children. Okay, that's really lame. Hey... there's still MORE!!!! One night, when I was staying with my "best" friend, when I was in the process of cleaning up, her buddy came over, and was hitting some shit off a can. I was very curious as to what the fuck that was, I had never seen it done before. He was smoking HEROIN. And guess who's hooked on that shit now??????!!!!!!!!!!??????!!!!!!!!!!???????!!!!! You guessed it! That fucking bitch. I am so fucking irrate right now. I am shaking like a fucking leaf. I don't know what to do. So I called her. And yep, she's fucked the fuck up on something!!! I couldn't even ask her about it. I knew she would lie. Just like I lied to everyone when I was fucked the fuck up. What the fuck? Please excuse all the profanity, I am so fucking pissed, though. And hurt. And scared for her. And I want to call her place of work, and tell them that my child goes to that school, and I have suspicions that my child's teacher is doing something illegal in their bathroom. I don't know what else to do. I am so scared for her. I started crying when I was on the phone with her, because I could tell she was out to lunch. That is huge, too, cause I do not fucking cry. I am too much of a man to cry.... at least that's what I like to tell myself.
Aside from all that... The daycare called me this evening, and I start tomorrow. I'm gonna go get shit-faced. I am so scared, and helpless. What am I supposed to do?
My "best" friend, who I have known since I was eight, has been snorting oxycoten (sp?) for two years. Yeah, it sucks, and yeah, I wish there was something I could say that would make her stop. Now I know how everyone felt when I was fucked up on tweek. That's only the beginning of it, though. My good buddy just informed me that he saw one of her old, good friends, and she told him that she is doing that shit at her place of work, at a public school, where she is in charge of a whole class of small children. Okay, that's really lame. Hey... there's still MORE!!!! One night, when I was staying with my "best" friend, when I was in the process of cleaning up, her buddy came over, and was hitting some shit off a can. I was very curious as to what the fuck that was, I had never seen it done before. He was smoking HEROIN. And guess who's hooked on that shit now??????!!!!!!!!!!??????!!!!!!!!!!???????!!!!! You guessed it! That fucking bitch. I am so fucking irrate right now. I am shaking like a fucking leaf. I don't know what to do. So I called her. And yep, she's fucked the fuck up on something!!! I couldn't even ask her about it. I knew she would lie. Just like I lied to everyone when I was fucked the fuck up. What the fuck? Please excuse all the profanity, I am so fucking pissed, though. And hurt. And scared for her. And I want to call her place of work, and tell them that my child goes to that school, and I have suspicions that my child's teacher is doing something illegal in their bathroom. I don't know what else to do. I am so scared for her. I started crying when I was on the phone with her, because I could tell she was out to lunch. That is huge, too, cause I do not fucking cry. I am too much of a man to cry.... at least that's what I like to tell myself.
Aside from all that... The daycare called me this evening, and I start tomorrow. I'm gonna go get shit-faced. I am so scared, and helpless. What am I supposed to do?
posted by Nonsensicallyingenius at 7:51 PM
6 Comments:
Hang in there, I am on my way to take care of it. You well know that YOU can not stop HER, you have to just let God handle it. I know how upset you are and I am so sorry Dawn. I love you!
Hang in there. And congrats on the new job, we are all very proud of you!
Frist and foremost, congrats on your new job... and that must remain your primary focus.
I too have watched close friends of mine destroy their lives with drugs. I know anger and disppointment all too well. I don't think an anonymous phone call is such a bad idea. It might make her lose her job, and that sucks, but what if a kid gets hurt on her watch? What if you REALLY DID have a kid in her class? What if my kid went to her class?
REality is the only way to deal with addicts. THey don't see the effects of their drug-use until it's shoved in their faces.
If the idea of clling the school causes you too much guilt, maybe you could call a local chapter of Narcotics Anonymous, and ask if they can refer you to an intervention specialist... who may have some advice.
What the hell is "tweek"... never heard of that one... I'm just curious.
Oxycontin, from what I understand, is one of the most addictive substances on the planet. She'll need treatment, because quitting cold turkey could be as life-threatening as the drug itself. Doctors and treatment centers have medications that ease the transition. Without a doctor's supervision, her chances of stopping are almost zero.
I, Rachael, would want to get involved... but that just me. But, in my heart of hearts, I find it impossible not to help people. Would I let a man drown because I didn't want to share my flotation device? Hell, no!
Try to help her if you want. But make sure you make your own life THE top priority. Things are really looking up for you... and that comes first.
God this story brings up so many ideas in my head about friends, who used to be cool, but became torn from my life because they got hooked on drugs. Great post, dawn. I'll send good vibes to your friend... and to you.
You are going to make it through this...just keep the faith and be strong!! It is not going to be easy, temptation is going to mess with you more than ever, and friends are going to try to influence you.
Dig your heels in....keep yourself positive and stay with it. Believe me, will be so happy once this is gone from your desires. I am speaking from past experiences on other things but on the same line. Nowadays it is life or death.
Sounds like you have great supporters and true friends on your side...listen to the ones that have been there or willing to assist, it will help and they will listen, give comfort and hold you when you want them to.
Congrat on your new job...Life is going to get better Honey. You are in my prayers. I feel full faith in you.
Just wanted to say HI again, it is late Sunday evening now...hope all is going in a positive way for you.
Been thinking of you!!
Been saying a prayer for you!!
Take care....good luck on your job.
Miss Rachael: "tweek" is speed. I used to smoke it... that's just a silly little term for a speed-smoker. :-D I've been clean for about nine months. (bow to the crowd, bow to the crowd...) I'm proud of myself... =)
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