Hey, man!! Check it out!
I'm freakin posting, okay!!!! I didn't think anybody gave a damn! I thought I was the only one who thought I was interesting. You all don't have to lie to me! I am well aware that you're just reading all this because my mommy has something over your heads... Hee hee...
Okay, let's see... My friend's dog just had to be put down, and she doesn't seem to realize that every day can only be as crappy as you make it... Please don't think I'm an insensitive beeyotch... The dog had cancer, and it really needed to be let go. I love the girl to death, I guess I just don't deal with upset people too well. I wish I knew what I could do... I guess I cheer her up by being the cool, and funny, and charming, person who smells good, and has a great laugh, and is beautiful, and doesn't weigh more than she wants.......... Holy crap... I'm day dreaming. So anyway, back to my point... We were gonna take her out to this bar that she goes to almost every Thursday (okay, she's only been there twice in the last month)--(man, I lie so much!) cause they have NICKEL BEERS!!!! And it was our girlfriend's birthday, so we thought it would be good for her. I caught a ride up with the only girl I've ever thought so much of, my friend named Kelli. We were both pretty loaded upon arrival, parked... (i mean we caught a cab: kids, don't drink and drive...) and went in to grab a few beers, and apparently, there is this older guy that comes in periodically, and pays for ALL the ladies' beers ALL night! He was kinda creepy, but wasn't a perv. It was super-sweet! So we stayed there for a couple hours, and Kelli ran into these kids she grew up with. They were pretty cool. The birthday girl wanted to leave, which sucked, cause we were having a blast! The band sucked! The beer sucked! We had all we could ask for, right? So we went to pull out of the parking lot, (in a cab, right, audience?) and Kelli, (or as I like to refer to her as... retard!) in her brand new super-truck, goes scraping across the bumper of this nasty old beater! This four-foot dent went all down the side... She about shit! She was so upset, especially because her baby-daddy had an attitude before we left anyway. She knew she was going to get YELLED AT! Poor girl, I was like, "Dude, it was like that when we came out... hit and run, right?-- Somebody did it TO YOU!!" (I got your back, girl...)
*Let me inform you: there is NO way anybody could have produced this huge blemish.
It was ALL her, and it was ALL too obvious, then again, baby-daddy Is a moron...
Wasn't that fun??!! This morning, my good buddy who's in Iraq right now, was on the computer, so we "IM"-ed each other for, like, an hour. Maybe not a full hour, regardless, it was so nice to get to talk to him. I guess we e-mail each other almost every day, whatever. I made him go out and get Team America: World Police. For those of you who are oblivious to this masterpiece, go out and get it. It is pure genius, at it's best, even. It is hilarious. Oh, yeah: Trey Parker, you know him as my husband, wrote it. I think I've told this to you already... Okay, I've become exremely uninteresting again. So I will let all of you get back to whatever you have to do. Have a good day, seriously. This comes from my heart. Anybody who takes time and interest in my feelings and thoughts, deserves a great day. Take care of yourselves.
Okay, let's see... My friend's dog just had to be put down, and she doesn't seem to realize that every day can only be as crappy as you make it... Please don't think I'm an insensitive beeyotch... The dog had cancer, and it really needed to be let go. I love the girl to death, I guess I just don't deal with upset people too well. I wish I knew what I could do... I guess I cheer her up by being the cool, and funny, and charming, person who smells good, and has a great laugh, and is beautiful, and doesn't weigh more than she wants.......... Holy crap... I'm day dreaming. So anyway, back to my point... We were gonna take her out to this bar that she goes to almost every Thursday (okay, she's only been there twice in the last month)--(man, I lie so much!) cause they have NICKEL BEERS!!!! And it was our girlfriend's birthday, so we thought it would be good for her. I caught a ride up with the only girl I've ever thought so much of, my friend named Kelli. We were both pretty loaded upon arrival, parked... (i mean we caught a cab: kids, don't drink and drive...) and went in to grab a few beers, and apparently, there is this older guy that comes in periodically, and pays for ALL the ladies' beers ALL night! He was kinda creepy, but wasn't a perv. It was super-sweet! So we stayed there for a couple hours, and Kelli ran into these kids she grew up with. They were pretty cool. The birthday girl wanted to leave, which sucked, cause we were having a blast! The band sucked! The beer sucked! We had all we could ask for, right? So we went to pull out of the parking lot, (in a cab, right, audience?) and Kelli, (or as I like to refer to her as... retard!) in her brand new super-truck, goes scraping across the bumper of this nasty old beater! This four-foot dent went all down the side... She about shit! She was so upset, especially because her baby-daddy had an attitude before we left anyway. She knew she was going to get YELLED AT! Poor girl, I was like, "Dude, it was like that when we came out... hit and run, right?-- Somebody did it TO YOU!!" (I got your back, girl...)
*Let me inform you: there is NO way anybody could have produced this huge blemish.
It was ALL her, and it was ALL too obvious, then again, baby-daddy Is a moron...
Wasn't that fun??!! This morning, my good buddy who's in Iraq right now, was on the computer, so we "IM"-ed each other for, like, an hour. Maybe not a full hour, regardless, it was so nice to get to talk to him. I guess we e-mail each other almost every day, whatever. I made him go out and get Team America: World Police. For those of you who are oblivious to this masterpiece, go out and get it. It is pure genius, at it's best, even. It is hilarious. Oh, yeah: Trey Parker, you know him as my husband, wrote it. I think I've told this to you already... Okay, I've become exremely uninteresting again. So I will let all of you get back to whatever you have to do. Have a good day, seriously. This comes from my heart. Anybody who takes time and interest in my feelings and thoughts, deserves a great day. Take care of yourselves.
posted by Nonsensicallyingenius at 2:09 PM
2 Comments:
Scraping up the truck?? Major party foul! I've used the hit and run story before too! When in doubt, lie your ass off! Great story - glad you had fun - glad your friend escaped baby daddy's ass chewing!
It's all good!
It's me, Amber- Annalese's mom. Found your blog finally. I kept getting shit to do when I wanted to read some blogs. E-mail and that sort of stuff. Just thought I'd drop a note to let you know I think your humor is clever and it's fun to read. I am going to finish reading the whole thing. If my attention span weren't that of a nat, I'd have read all of it by now. Also, not a huge fan of reading but I figure if I want my blogs read and commented on then I should pay the same respect. Party on, sounds like my kind of fun if I weren't pretending to be a parent. Spoils some of the fun.Love her though of course.
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