Cursor by www.Soup-Faerie.Com Nonsensicallyingenius: --Insert clever phrase here--

Monday, July 18, 2005

--Insert clever phrase here--

I deleted what I wrote previously. I did not want my little sisters to read, in depth, what I put myself through this past friday. I fell back into a funk, and made a mistake that I wish I was sober enough to stop. I did learn something else, though. Learning sucks. Learning hurts. I learned that I am SO DONE with the family I involved myself with about a year and a half ago. My "boy" in New York, as far as I'm concerned now,will no longer be my boy. I allowed myself to become involved with someone who is far too similar to me. We were set off by the same things, and we had the same flaws. I will only prolong my "I don't really give a shit" attitude if I stay with this boy. I need to find someone who can feed me more of this "do good for you" outlook on life. For the time being, I will do it on my own. It would be great if this perfect guy came along in the near future, but I think I can handle being without him for a good while.
I'm starving. Anybody wanna go get some Outback?! I love me a good, rare, filet mignon, side of veggies, please, and a salad with ranch. Sure, ranch is fine. I'd also like a good strong beverage. ooh, I can have a beverage here. Then again, is the wrath of the girl who dislikes an every night drinker worth a beverage? Is it possible for me to do anything right? Or am I destined to be the example of what not to do?
Can I lay down some curse words? I really feel like it. I'm angry. I'm frustrated. I hate people who pretend they are your friend. They all "really care," don't they? I don't pretend. If I don't really care that much about you, I'm not going to make you think that my shoulder is for your tears. I am a very compassionate person, don't get me wrong, and I give everyone as much respect and concern as I would like, but in the long run--- I don't know where I'm going with this. I hate fake people. I have been raised to not be fake, and to live with all my heart. Where are all the people who care? The only care I see in this world is, "what does Cosmo say I should be wearing this season?" "What's the latest diet, so I can look like a sickly whore?"
Speaking of which: I really hope in the future I don't have a daughter. If I do, I hope I can compete with the smut that is this world. I cannot watch TV without being disgusted in what my poor sisters are watching. --cleveage, my ass hanging out of my shorts at 12, the obsession of what boys think of me at age 9, only making it worse as you grow older.When I was a little girl, I could give two shits about boys. I mean, yeah, I had my crushes, but that is ALL I see these poor girls doing today. The only friends I had for more than one school year was my guy friends. I did not hang out with them because "it's so cool, I'm the only girl in this crowd!!" It was because I could talk to guys. They weren't judging me for what I was wearing, and I didn't care either. They just liked my company, and I enjoyed theirs. We laughed, we learned what growing up was, we had a BLAST! It makes me sick to see girls today, living their lives to impress. And the way I see girls acting around guys, holy, get a grip on yourself!! You look like a moronic floosy!

As you can see it's a slow topic day. I just said nothing in all that mess! Sorry, one vent lead to another. Have a great day!! Thanks for listening.

5 Comments:

Blogger I'm not even supposed to be here today said...

It is difficult to have a 12 yr old girl! There is so much to watch out for.

As far as the other stuff, have a beverage if you want one! Fake people suck!

7/19/2005 3:17 PM  
Blogger JUST A MOM said...

I am so proud of you, I hope you know that. Love you ,,,mom

7/19/2005 4:15 PM  
Blogger JUST A MOM said...

THIS ONE IS BETTER

7/20/2005 11:00 AM  
Blogger I'm not even supposed to be here today said...

Start posting more... you're pissing me off! lol

7/21/2005 12:50 PM  
Blogger Live to Dream said...

Ya, I guess I'm just too young to know anything that goes on with you huh?
Anyway....I know how you feel, and I feel the same way, but it's not like I try to watch that stuipd garbage tha's on tv....and it's not that I WANT to be boy crazy....in fact I wish it would all just go away...but we can't help it...I hate girls, they caz way too much drama for NO reason...like today, jessie got mad at me bcaz she thought I was teliing katies ex bf something...and she just misunderstood me and now shes all mad...i like my guy friends caz they dont do that, i know i can do that, but im cursed with it caz im a girl...but the problem with that is if ur guy friends like u, its harder to hang out with them...and some of them are just as dramatic as girls...anyway ok im writting too much now, bye

7/22/2005 2:13 AM  

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