Cursor by www.Soup-Faerie.Com Nonsensicallyingenius: Want some drugs, Dawn?

Wednesday, February 22, 2006

Want some drugs, Dawn?

No thank you.

And I don't want any affiliation with the mexican mafia.

And I don't want to sleep for four days straight.

And I don't want to be with you if you don't have a legitimate job.

And I don't want to be with you if you're 29 and are 'temporarily' living with your parents.

No, 'John doe:' I do not like green eggs and ham. At least not the kind you're selling...





His name was actually Travis. And I thought I really liked him. His birthday is a day after mine, (well plus a few years...) and he is really cool. Very fucking funny. Very fun to hang out with. Almost as cool as I am. We have hung out most of the weekend, for the past two weekends. He is a VERY real, and super-awesome guy, but not the kind of guy I would want to have a serious relationship with, like I thought I might. (Well, I thought there was potential.) We are a lot alike, but there are a lot of things about his friends and personal life that conflict with my new-found morals.

I have never said that I am better than anyone, but I am better than what I might consider myself as, if I were to become involved with this type of person. Nothing but bad news bears. I have more respect for myself, and I have more knowledge as to what I can be around without getting tied up in, to let myself continue to hang around it. I almost slipped into it this past Saturday. I wanted to. It was all right there. I was leaning against a(n apparently JUST stolen) Lincoln Navigator peering into an outdoor laundry room where a few guys looked to be partaking in a little crystal meth smokage. I WAS SHITFACED. That is no excuse for wanting to ask if I could jump on in, but it didn't help. Just like the good 'ol days. Just like my 'good 'ol' buds who were always looking out for my best interest. Except not. I didn't ask. My ('former' addict) heart and mind pulled and pulled. I will say, Travis was keeping me away from all that. I'll give him that. I'm not trying to put the blame on him. We left soon after that started; but the boy I got addicted to it with before wouldn't let me do it either... then after a few times of me poking and prodding, I was hooked. And life was 'great.'

So there's a post. Whatever happened between Travis and I came to an end after that evening, and the icing on the cake was all day sunday. When we hung out at his parents house, and slept. And watched a movie. And he slept.


I deserve someone who is high on life, like me. Dorky saying, but it's true. High on some serious shit is NOT someone that is worth my time-- or emotion. And they don't deserve to be on my mind all day, giving me butterflies. I've got too much to give to settle. My mom taught me that.

So my head is cleared of this silly boy. And I'm stoked!!!

5 Comments:

Blogger Walking Contradiction said...

Fucking 'A!

2/23/2006 1:16 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Good job Dawn I miss you so much and I haven't wrote to you or called because some people think you should call me but I can make my own decesions and I'm sure you would of called if you didn't think I would hang up on you. Ok so Aaron is one of those people that doesn't want me to talk to you and his reason is because we got to loaded everyday or other day and we spent to much money together which I can make sure that doesn't happen and I'm sure you'll support that. But I do miss you and when I tell him I wrote this I am sure he'll be ok with it. We've benn doing nothing much but riding not a hole lot of drink and alot of working out but not a lot of weight lose that sucks! I think about you evey day and laugh when stupid things happen like that dumb song comes on the radio that those guys sang and let the verse go on forever after the song was over. anyway i just wanted you to know I miss you and hope things are well we might go to the dunes next weekend and Matt gets out on the 3rd so hopefully Aaron can except that we be friends and do good together too.
Kelli
p.s. you deserve the best and nothing less good things come to those who wait!!!!

2/23/2006 10:43 AM  
Blogger JUST A MOM said...

I AM SO PROUD OF YOU!!!!!! AND I LIKE DORKS!!!!

3/02/2006 10:41 PM  
Blogger Walking Contradiction said...

how ya been?

3/10/2006 5:00 AM  
Blogger Walking Contradiction said...

Hey, it's March! Almost April.....

3/24/2006 8:40 AM  

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