Phew!!! One hour, and I'm beat!!!

Yeah, so I woke up this morning not knowing what the eff time I was supposed to be in. I've had to be there at six, two days this week, and wasn't sure if I was supposed to be doing the same thing today. I woke up at five, so I could call and ask when somebody got there at five thirty, but was too tired to care, so I just decided I was going in at my "normal" 7:30. All week, I have been getting my break at ridiculous hours: 9:30-10:00 to 11:30-12. The number of kids that early, makes it easier to do that. How about we think about your hardest working employee, and what might help her to do her job more efficiently. When I get a break that early, and then have to go in for a whole day, it really wears on my patience. Yesterday, I had the worst afternoon I have ever had in my whole entire life. We are ridiculously understaffed, we are undergoing a director change, (which hopefully, soon, should make things a whole lot better...) there is a new lady who doesn't even really watch the kids; I think she's on drugs, or something-- she's in the two's room, letting them run wild. Yesterday, one of the little boys had acquired a bruise, and small goose egg on his forehead under her care, and when I asked her what had happened, she had no idea. They still haven't given me my room, if they decide to do it this time, it seems I can consider myself their last resort. Do I look like I have no idea what the fuck I'm doing?!?! Well, maybe it does look that way, but when you see me with these children you would have no doubt in your mind that I am the best caregiver in that whole center. Whatever.

I rode my bike to Kelli's last night. That was a good ride. There is this foot-bridge over the freeway, that I thought would be a great workout for me. The weather is starting to chill out. It has been so nice out. Have you ever noticed that girls don't really ever have anything interesting to say? I have. This one time... I was riding my bike, and I saw a blue car!!! And then the car turned right, and then it ran over a stick. Then I saw it pull into a driveway. I don't know if that person lived there, or what, but he pulled right in!! Man, that was cool.

I don't like being off this early. I am wearing down. I almost want to take a nap, but that will only make things worse for me. These people keep scheduling me in the fours room. I CAN NOT handle the fours. They are nucking futs. None of them listen. I had to be in there for four and a half hours the other day. I thought I was going to cry. There is nothing I can say or do to those kids to make them listen. I am growing to hate my job. Waking up in the morning is becoming impossible, because I know I am just going to be shit on all day, and I will be in random rooms, which gives the children no sense of routine. I'm getting off of this thing now.