Hour and a half lunch!!!

Woopie. What do I have to talk about? Let me tell you ................................................................................ NOTHING!!!! Isn't that terrific? I thought it was. I am just bored, and really friggin tired. I wish I could take a nap, and get up, and go, but that is an impossibility for me. Once I'm down, I'm useless. I think I need to go to the store before I go back, and get something that will give me energy. Yes, yes I think I will. Jeesum Crow!! I am beat the eff up!! I haven't been drinking for the past couple nights. I wonder if that has something to do with it. I usually have at least a couple every night, but I've decided I will try not to drink during the week. I am hoping it will result in a small weight loss, too. I like to call myself "Lard-ass." It makes me feel good; good and fat. Not phat, FAT. There's a song I like to sing to myself, too. It goes: 'fatty, fatty, two by four... can't get through the bathroom door!!!' I am becoming delerious. I have a mandatory employee meeting at the place I am employed at. It will be employee-rific!! They better serve booze. Cause if they don't.... Oh, wait, I am not drinking all week. I forgot. Okay, unless they have booze at this meeting. In that case, I will get slaughtered! Woohoo!!!! Maybe they'll have tea and crumpets. And we'll play cricket. And we'll watch the British Broadcasting Company. I'm getting excited already, can you tell?

What a strange post. If you are bothered by this piece, please write an e-mail to somebody who gives a shit. Or just suck it up, cause I'm having a good time, damn it!!! You wouldn't believe how easily amused I am. With myself, at least. I'd have to agree, that I am the coolest, and most hilarious person on the face of the earth. Trey Parker would be lucky to have such a wife. That son of a bitch!!! Why hasn't he written me? Why hasn't he even tried to make contact? I am starting to worry that this marriage is going to be postponed. NO!!!! IT CAN"T BE!!!! What ever will I do?!?!?!? I think I'm going to buy some diet pills with my next paycheck. There is a solution to the energy problem, and the fat (not phat) problem. Man, I'm smart. Is there any way to drink that won't cause you to gain (or hold) weight? Or is alcohol in general a bad thing for a hopeful weight loss participant? I need a fucking drink already, and I'm not even off work!! Mother effing christ!!!! I'll leave you be, now. Hope you had fun with the inards of my tired brain. Have a splendid __________. (fill in the blank.) ---(i mean, the line with blank space on top of it.)