Overload!!! Overload!!!
Good (no particular time of day...) everyone!!! How have we all been? Splendid, I hope.
Okay, enough of the silly crap. I don't know why I even started to write. My brain is so cluster-fucked! Way too many things are going on in there. I wish I had a little drain-plug, like a cooler does... That way, if too much crap is floating around, I can just pull the plug, and let some unimportant stuff out. I'm not even sure if there is any unimportant stuff in there. Holy, man alive, I'm tellin you. I can't even decifer what is priority, and what is trash. I can't even think straight, look at me; I'm babbling like a --- I don't know what?... Somebody help me, please!!!
I've been working a huge butt-load. 9 to 10 1/2 hour days. I only take a half hour lunch, lately, because they need the help so bad, and I'd rather prove myself a hard, and dedicated worker from the get-go. I think I'm doing a pretty good job. Ouch, my back. Last Wednesday, I started at 7:30, worked until 6:40, then we had CPR and first aid training at the center, from 6:30-9:30. (they waited for me cause a mommy showed up ten minutes late.) Can we say, "Too much time spent in one place?!?!?" Those sons of bitches... I had (only) 6 1/2 hours over time for next paycheck. The first week, I didn't work any overtime. It was all from last week. babble,babble,babble...
I'm going crazy with all of my personal life happenings, too. Boys are scary, and confusing, and fuck them, really. A good amount of my friends are being morons, and I'm sick of it. I really only hang out with one person, lately. I really like my Kelli Lake. She's a good girl. My favorite person in the whole world as of now.I'm perfectly fine with hanging out with only her. She keeps me sane. There's no pressure, or discomfort, no expectation, she is a real, good friend. I'm glad to have her. I need to learn to keep my money in my wallet. I got a pay check last Tuesday. For six days, and 49 hours, I earned $319.63. Nice. At that rate... with two full weeks on there, I should have a driver's license in no time!!! (That is--If I CAN learn to keep the $ in the wallet...) Wish me luck. I am just really at a very confusing point in my life. I'm living with my folks. It really is eating away at me. I'm almost twenty four years old!! What the fuck!? I need to get things figured out, and quick!! Or I just might do something drastic. I have been on my own since I was sixteen years old. It's not a nightmare living here, but I just NEED my own place, my own being. I need that sense of- 'this is mine-- this is me'... This is not something I feel here. Whatever... Working for a living sucks ass.
I've talked to Eric (NY boy) a couple times in the last week. He called, and was being really cool. I guess he is working at this train station close to where our apt. was. Some toy store owner is having them turn it into a house for him. How fucking cool! He said he would take a few pictures for me. I LOVE TRAINS!!! I called him on my lunch break on Friday. Just to see what was up... how he was doing. I told him I would call him the day after I talked to him before... I forgot to. He said he misses me. I miss him, too. He was a good dude. We always had fun. We were on the same page for the most part. But what the future holds for us, if anything, I don't know.
Okay, I'm getting out of here. I'm wasting time. Mine, yours, and my impatient little sisters'. If you have the number for Doctor Kavorkian... Please leave a comment. If you're going to leave a comment to correct the spelling of his name... Fuck off, and don't.
Okay, enough of the silly crap. I don't know why I even started to write. My brain is so cluster-fucked! Way too many things are going on in there. I wish I had a little drain-plug, like a cooler does... That way, if too much crap is floating around, I can just pull the plug, and let some unimportant stuff out. I'm not even sure if there is any unimportant stuff in there. Holy, man alive, I'm tellin you. I can't even decifer what is priority, and what is trash. I can't even think straight, look at me; I'm babbling like a --- I don't know what?... Somebody help me, please!!!
I've been working a huge butt-load. 9 to 10 1/2 hour days. I only take a half hour lunch, lately, because they need the help so bad, and I'd rather prove myself a hard, and dedicated worker from the get-go. I think I'm doing a pretty good job. Ouch, my back. Last Wednesday, I started at 7:30, worked until 6:40, then we had CPR and first aid training at the center, from 6:30-9:30. (they waited for me cause a mommy showed up ten minutes late.) Can we say, "Too much time spent in one place?!?!?" Those sons of bitches... I had (only) 6 1/2 hours over time for next paycheck. The first week, I didn't work any overtime. It was all from last week. babble,babble,babble...
I'm going crazy with all of my personal life happenings, too. Boys are scary, and confusing, and fuck them, really. A good amount of my friends are being morons, and I'm sick of it. I really only hang out with one person, lately. I really like my Kelli Lake. She's a good girl. My favorite person in the whole world as of now.I'm perfectly fine with hanging out with only her. She keeps me sane. There's no pressure, or discomfort, no expectation, she is a real, good friend. I'm glad to have her. I need to learn to keep my money in my wallet. I got a pay check last Tuesday. For six days, and 49 hours, I earned $319.63. Nice. At that rate... with two full weeks on there, I should have a driver's license in no time!!! (That is--If I CAN learn to keep the $ in the wallet...) Wish me luck. I am just really at a very confusing point in my life. I'm living with my folks. It really is eating away at me. I'm almost twenty four years old!! What the fuck!? I need to get things figured out, and quick!! Or I just might do something drastic. I have been on my own since I was sixteen years old. It's not a nightmare living here, but I just NEED my own place, my own being. I need that sense of- 'this is mine-- this is me'... This is not something I feel here. Whatever... Working for a living sucks ass.
I've talked to Eric (NY boy) a couple times in the last week. He called, and was being really cool. I guess he is working at this train station close to where our apt. was. Some toy store owner is having them turn it into a house for him. How fucking cool! He said he would take a few pictures for me. I LOVE TRAINS!!! I called him on my lunch break on Friday. Just to see what was up... how he was doing. I told him I would call him the day after I talked to him before... I forgot to. He said he misses me. I miss him, too. He was a good dude. We always had fun. We were on the same page for the most part. But what the future holds for us, if anything, I don't know.
Okay, I'm getting out of here. I'm wasting time. Mine, yours, and my impatient little sisters'. If you have the number for Doctor Kavorkian... Please leave a comment. If you're going to leave a comment to correct the spelling of his name... Fuck off, and don't.
posted by Nonsensicallyingenius at 10:55 AM
2 Comments:
yet again ,,, I am sorry. I don't know what I can do to help.
If the money is in your walet, it is beggin to be spent. Put a portion in the bank and spend the rest, free of guilt. If you save it all you'll feel like you're working for nothing... if you spend it all you'll feel like you're working for nothing. Find that middle ground!
Sorry you're so frustrated with boys/friends/work...don't put so much pressure on yourself about being 24! I'm way older but I don't know what the hell I want to do with my life. I feel like I waste a lot of time, and kick myself for not investing my time more wisely. Focus on the positive:
Having a job that requires overtime is better than no job at all. Having one good friend is better than associating with a whole bunch of suck-wads.
Fuck - just ignore me... I'm in my own rut!
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