miserable and stuff.

can't talk to the boy. every day of every week, my days revolve around communication with my boy. He makes me laugh. He gives me the motivation to get through the bullshit I put up with at my work. He comes to get me after work.

All of that has come screeching to a dead stop. I have to deal with no Travis cold turkey. And it hurts and it sucks. I was just saying a few days ago that I'd rather not care about someone this much cause it's too easy to hurt from it. I hurt. I am confused. I am anxious. I am impatient. I'm not hopeful. I do hope I make it through the week, but don't know what kind of shape I will be in by the end.


I still haven't had a drink. I've had more of a reason to this past weekend, but I haven't had one. I've been smoking like a fucking steam engine, but no drinks. No drinks...