Cursor by www.Soup-Faerie.Com Nonsensicallyingenius: April 2010

Monday, April 05, 2010

a year ago less than a month ago

Hello there! i'm back for my terribly seldom post... I noticed my last post started off with another breakup. it's a good thing i ended it when i did. although sometimes a sensitive heart can be taken advantage of. So dude wanted to meet up with me and have a couple drinks before his departure to Pennsylvania; which he decided upon after the heartbreak he suffered from losing such a bad ass bitch:) i agreed to this, as we were still speaking regularly. our last 'date' would fall on a saturday evening, March 14th, 2009. wow... it's crazy to think how recent that was even though the title already gave it away... we went to the usual spot. the normal crowd was there and the normal things went down. at one point one of the karaoke hosts jokingly danced on my lap for a split second. --this was apparently considered to be disrespectful on my part. an angry ex boyfriend and an even tempered ex girlfriend left the bar. i received insult after insult, accusation after holler on the bike ride back to my house- which, we didn't even make halfway through before i was cut off on my bike by the angry ex boyfriend's. it seemed as though he was not happy with my inability to accept i was a fat piece of shit who deserved to die. he threw a solid right hook at my face and i flew to the ground. i could feel my back molar had been jarred up and partially out of my gums. i was bleeding profusely from the mouth. instinct and adrenaline threw me right back on my bike and peddled my 5'4" 160lb body home faster than my 6'2" 230lb attacker. i struggled to get the door open, smearing blood all over the deadbolt and handle, made my way in running out of one shoe, and locked myself in the bathroom, horrified and bewildered. how could i possibly have gotten myself involved with a 'man' who would do this? the door came flying in forcefully followed by dude's foot. he had taken my phone and mocked my cries to have it back or just please get out of my way. i pushed through his side and the door frame and pleaded for my phone so i could call the police- he continued to claim he was calling them now, because i was at fault. i carefully made my way down the hall, losing my other shoe, to the back yard where my friend's labrador was. he was still yelling at me through the sliding glass door and blamed me for making him hit me. he turned around and punched the light fixture in the dining room and i took this opportunity to jump the back wall and ran faster than i ever have around the block and thought it would be best for me to take cover in the back yard of an abandoned house. i stayed there approximately 15-20 mins and then continued my walking/running/bawling journey 2 miles down the road to my friend's home. i showered, told her the story, and settled into her bed, finally safe. when i woke to a puddle of blood and a severely swollen face. it was suggested i should go to the hospital. i hated that idea. i don't like doctors and i didn't want to stretch this out any longer than the hour episode already was. most of the day past and i got no better, the bleeding did not stop and my friends became more and more worried. they finally convinced me to go to the ER. after a couple hours, a few interviews, and filed domestic abuse case it was discovered that the mother fucker had broken my jaw in 2 places. because of the shape of this bone i'm pretty sure most the time one break leads to a mirrored break. regardless... i pressed charges, i had to have my jaw surgically wired shut and went on a liquid diet for 6 weeks, except for a chili dog i was able to shove through the metal contraption after a night of camping and drinking, when i just couldn't watch everyone else eat any longer! i healed, i'm scarred (not visibly) but every day i move forward knowing God was watching me through this warning and was probably telling me: 'trust your gut, that's me talking to you' -- you see, often when i first met this guy-- the first week (collaborated) i spent sleeping over at his apartment i lay awake for most the night feeling as if this guy may hurt me in my sleep. suffocation and violent attacks would play in my head. but i ignored them...